A well-deserved revisitation of my blog...

We never notice, during our ventures with the Internet, and the history of all of our social encounters and activities,... that everything we do piles on top of each other, and creates quite the bloody e-mess!

My accounts for instant messaging is an example. For the past seven years and beyond, all of my contacts,... all of the people I connected with at this time or another, is listed in the Contacts of my ancient IM accounts. MSN... AIM... Yahoo IM...

None of these people seem to exist anymore, and while keeping their names on this list is a reminder of who they once were,... I feel it has become quite obsolete.

And thus it began...

...

Tonight, I'm going to entertain the notion of 'Erasing the past'.

Go through each and every account,... IM, Email, and other piles of garbage,... and blanket them with oblivion.

Each and every social encounter,... from roleplaying friends, to temporary spiritual companions, to random friends gathered from forums and chatrooms,... from angsty teens, to music enthusiasts, to armchair philosophers such as you and I,...

They are all going to meet oblivion tonight!

...

And thus,... all of a sudden, I am brought here,... to perhaps the most ancient, yet well said, well-descriptive, and most sentimental relic symbolizing myself. ... An 8 year advocate and active participant in the Xanga community. ... It has all laid abandoned, but there are deep seeded pieces to the puzzle that I can't erase. I also cannot let others erase it either.

I've tried to reinvoke pieces of this ancient self, with no avail. It would almost seem necessary to delete this part of me, but I wonder if that measure is necessary. From the deeply confused, angsty, and quite eccentric teenager,... till today; that just doesn't seem like it needs erasing.

MAN! ... I wish I could share this wiping of my past with someone. It would make the meaning of it so much more... shared. Maybe there is a hidden wisdom in it that others can take with them. ... but hell,... if there is one thing I have gathered from the accumulation of all of these shells of other people, is that their stay is impermanent,... and in the end, I am only left with the shells. A vast, lonely room with empty human shells. ... and in a way, that goes as far to describe this blog. It describes Xanga itself! Just a necropolis of empty carcasses.

Every meaningful step toward knowing thyself is emptied, and pointless to look back upon.

...

I might have to erase this blog as well.

but... time will judge that better than I.