April 21, 2009

• All this over ‘Twilight’?

  I can’t believe what I am reading right now. =/
  
  … First of all, I would like to clearly set the record that I have had nothing against the Twilight books, or the Twilight movie. There are those who have a deep appreciation to these movies, and I’m fine with that. If anyone is anyone, you all know how much obsession there is over the Twilight books, and how so many adolescent teens have their head buried into the Twilight universe. Once again, to each their own. … but… what I am reading right now is a massive collection of various reports and personal eyewitness about Twilight fans engaging in acts of violence over simple disagreements over the books. … I’m not talking about just pretentious fans being stubborn.
  
  … I’m talking about acts of violence pertaining to the level of massive felony charges! Drowning. Assault. Attempted murder. …
  
  Do you want to know the creepiest part of it? None of these fangirls were over the age of 16.
  What the hell kind of society do we live in where 13, 14, and 15 year old girls,… the overall demographic for things like Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, and High School Music,… attempt to murder someone over a differing opinion about a piece of wood filled with paper!!?
  
  For the final time, I am not trying to insult Twilight. I’m insulting the prospect that anyone would be so hopelessly lacking of any consciousness or intelligence outside of the fictional universe of a novel writer, that they would… well… …  … =/. Allow me to post some of the things I have read pertaining to this subject.
  
  
  

  ---

  Attempted Drowning:
  
  

  My
  brother was helping the janitor pick up trash on the playground when he
  moved to the open halls and passed by the girl’s bathroom, in which,
  the door was open. He heard screaming so he looked in through the door
  and heard a girl yell, “How DARE you say that about Twilight!”. Now, my
  brother is well informed by me that Twilighters have been getting
  extremely violent lately, so when he heard another girl screaming he
  went in. He said there were two girls (sixth graders) standing over
  another girl in which, they were holding her head down in the toilet
  water and flushing it randomly. Just my brother’s appearance scared
  them (he’s freakishly tall) and the two girls let go of the other one
  and ran out of there. Instead of chasing them my bother helped the girl
  who was coughing up water to the nurse’s office. He gave descriptions
  of the two girls when the girl who was getting dunked left (her mom
  picked her up to take her to the hospital, he said) and the principle
  found them. He stood in the office with them as a witness and the girls
  kept saying “But she called it a horrible book! She deserved it!”. He
  left a while after. One of the girls got expelled and the other
  suspended for a week or something.
  

  
  

  Seriously? The girl they were drowning was a FIFTH GRADER.

  
  

  ---

  Threat with a Knife:
  
  
  

  Heres what happened. At lunch today every single girl at
  the table is talking about Twilight. I try to tell them about the
  crazed fan girl attacks that have been going on lately (which is making
  me dislike the series more and more). One of the girls actually tried
  to talk some sense into ME! She tried to explain that the Fan girls
  were just angry. And I said, “If people who don’t like Twilight, get on
  obsessed fan girls nerves that much, Twilight should be destroyed!” Some
  of the girls at my table understood. Some got really pissed. One of the
  girls marched off steaming. I thought I had made my point. But of
  course in Algebra I went to go sharpen my pencil, and that girl who
  marched off was in my class. she came up behind me and tried to slit my
  throat with a shank! She screamed “How dare you say Twilight should be
  destroyed!” Now, I had to do something. So I took my pencil out of the
  sharpener and stabbed her in the side (thank god i had already
  sharpened my pencil or she wouldn’t have felt the stab). She lost
  concentration for a second or two, so she could look at the pencil
  sticking out of her. Without such a strong grasp, i was able to break
  free. By now students were restraining her as she kicked and screamed.
  She was expelled, but I got after school detention for defending myself
  (our principal is a ass)! If you were about to die, Would you fight
  back? So I’m talking over the detention with my idiot principal, back
  to the matter at hand, Has the world gone mad? Its a book! Nobody
  should obsess like that. I mean god! She tried to kill me! Because I
  said that the fan girls are really hurting people? That just proves my point.

  
  

  ---

  Strangling:
  

  
  

  Okay, so I just want to say that I’m not a Twilight
  Hater, in fact I like the series. I read it looong before it was
  popular though, and what I do hate is how popular it’s gotten and how
  suddenly EVERYONE knows about it.
  I was re-reading a Harry
  Potter book in class (I like Harry Potter, shoot me) because we had a
  substitute teacher that didn’t know what work we were supposed to be
  doing, so she left us to our own devices. Alicia, a girl in my class
  who I don’t know that well comes up to me.
  Her: Oh, Harry Potter? Does that mean you like Twilight?
  Me: Yeah, it’s pretty good.
  Her: It’s fantastic!
  Me: I wouldn’t go that far. I mean it’s a good series, but it doesn’t deserve all the hype it’s gotten.
  Her: Excuse me?
  Me: What?
  Her: Listen, I don’t know what planet you’re from, but Stephenie Meyer is a genius!
  Me: No, she isn’t. She’s an average author, who wrote an average book!

  She
  just stares at me angrily for quite a while, then obviously seeming to
  have decided on something, wrapped her hands around my throat. Shocked,
  my hand automatically shot up and hit her across the face. She
  continued to choke me, and out of anger and panic I kicked her square
  in the stomach. She released her grip and fell back against a table.
  Furious, I ran towards her and slapped her multiple times.

  Finally
  my classmates tore me off of her and the substitute took me and the
  bitch up to the principal, where she got a weeks detention and I got
  two days. Not bad I guess, seeing as I made her bleed a little.

  I knew there were violent Twi-tards out there, but I didn’t think they were this common!
  

  ---

  Beating with a Bat:
  

  
  

  Alright, so a couple days ago, I was just sitting
  outside of the school parking lot, waiting for my friend to come get me
  after I finished after school study session for missing a day of
  school. Everything was okay for the moment… But then, a girl
  came walking up past me and I saw the first Twilight book clutched
  deeply to her chest. I swear she was hugging it so hard I thought the
  sides of the book was piercing through her shirt and to her skin. Being me, I gave a slightly disgusted look at the novel and she immediately noticed this, and whipped around and smiled at me.

  She said, “So, you’re looking at this, right? Isn’t Twilight the best? Of course you have read it, right? I mean, who hasn’t!”

  I grinned back, since obviously she seemed like a sane fan for a
  moment, but then I replied back, “I read half of the first book, but
  didn’t like it so I stopped. Didn’t really faze me or anything.” Then, all of a sudden, she just started bitching at me about how my
  opinion doesn’t matter, that I’m stupid, and how I was just jealous of
  Bella because Edward would never want me because I’m weird. Then she
  said one last thing that made me uneasy. “I’ll get you, bitch. Just you wait.” I was going to reply back, but Megan came, and I don’t like starting
  stuff around Megan, because she always feels like she has to stick up
  for me and I don’t like her getting hurt on my behalf.

  So,
  anyways, the next day a couple friend’s and me headed to WalMart to get
  some poster-board and some snacks to do our World History project.
  Megan and Tamara went to go pick out snacks and I went by myself to get
  the poster-board. And when I fount the poster-board there was
  nobody around, or so I thought. There was the girl, standing close
  behind me with a baseball bat in hand. The bat wasn’t bought, yet,
  seeing how the see-through plastic was still around it. Then one of her
  friend’s grabbed me by the hand (she’s heavy-set) and tried throwing me
  down towards the floor. Of course I was struggling, so instead of being
  thrown to the floor, I was pushed against the shelves, still having a
  firm grip on me. Then everything became a blur. I could feel
  the bat being thrusted roughly against my body, and I could feel myself
  getting weak. Then it all finally stopped as the manager and
  a co-worker pushed them off of me, with Megan and Tamara rushing
  besides me. I now have bruises all over my stomach and a couple on my
  arm. My hand is so bruised and purple I have to wear a cast because
  it’s so sensitive, now.

  I actually never really thought that
  that girl would actually beat me up for having an opinion on a book.
  Going to school sucks now without people talking about the incident
  24/7.
  

  ---

  Shot with a high-powered flare gun:
  

  
  

  Not with a gun but with a signaling rocket, today or
  yesterday actually (time zones) me and 3 friends (1 female 2 males)
  were talking about how much Twilight sucks ass and were bashing it. We
  were down by the fishing docks on the north strip of the island
  watching the fishermen unload their catch when apparently a twi-hard
  overheard us behind some shipping basins (for stowing fish). She
  apparently just got off her fathers boat, and had a whole bunch of
  equipment. Including a red Orion single shot/use hand-held rocket flare. Anyways she overheard us talking and pulled out this flare, from her
  basket of stuff. The last thing I herd was the cap flying off the
  front. With a loud psshhh sound my friend yelped and dropped to the
  ground. The flre bounced off him and flew to the ground. We kicked the
  flare away, just then the parachute popped out and a bright red light
  nerly blinded all of us. Four fishermen ran over to help, one saw
  everything and restrained the twi-hard (who was kicking and screaming).
  My friends left arm was sizzling where the rocket moter had burned him
  (thankfully not the para-flare or it would have been much worse). One
  of the fishermen shoved all of us in his pickup truck and drove us to
  the local hospital where my friend is still unable to completely use
  his left arm. The girl is being held on $50,000 bail for attempted
  murder with a deadly weapon. We plan to go to court in a week with all
  of us as witnesses.
  

  ---

  
  …
  If this post makes you the least bit angry, it really should.
  
  Before anybody gets defensive and accuses me of making unjust claims, I am very much aware not every Twilight fan is a sadistic zealot. …
  I’m almost 99% certain that none of you fellow Xangans have any traits of the above. … at the same time…
  … if at any point that any Twilight zealot is committing felonies over the book, like those described above,… I would have no incentive to have any better of an impression of them or those like them, because they are merely ruining the reputation of Twilight fans for everyone, because they have absolutely no control over their emotions or actions. AND,… if at any point anyone here is willing to debate with me that the people participating in the above are… in some sick way… somehow justified,… and dislike the way this post is going…. may you politely get a head start and take two running jumps straight to hell!! … You have an entire universe to make choices and to discover intrigue! There are things in existence much more fascinating and important than a first-class case of delerium invoked by a book.
  
  …
  
  With that said…
  
  … if you want my opinion, I figured an ‘immortal’ like Edward would have better things to do than attend high-school chemistry year after year?

  • 9:08 pm
  • 10 Comments