Why is my psyche function in the form of intricate plot devices?

… The high standards of a compelling storyline cause me to discourage my utterly commonwealth of a life.

Not that my life is all that bad. … My mind simply functions this way.

It is how it is programmed;

Brainwashed; from story to story; protagonist to antagonist; beginning to end.

 

And neither can I satisfy it.

My mind is too busy with idle distraction, sedation, and petty recreation.

Where is the total immersion I seek? The driving motivation? The unstoppable passion?

Its buried under layers of fears, contempt, and lower-mind.

Its a raging beast locked within a steel cage.

Tormented.

 

 

… Then again, even my scattered mind knows that I’ve done posts and blog entries like these, over and over, each time I feel mentally cornered ,… emotionally and spiritually unquenched. We see how they begin, but I know how it ends. …

Empty corridors. Unspoken comments. An audience of ghostly visitors. … and hell … why not have them be blind and deaf ghostly visitors?

… with funny yellow hats!

 

 

The nights I’ve spent, sitting in my silence, gazing into myself,… looking into the self for answers to the endless riddle. Like a knot, pulled to its tightest, me trying to loosen the bind enough to deknot. Yet, I’d be egoic and arrogant if I were to think I was the only person found in this state. Everyone comes to some conclusion on what lies beyond the knot, … and its all just enough to help them sleep at night. Some also find content in insisting the knot is the only truth.

In the end, reasoning with the logical mind only pulls the hairs of the rope; tearing at it.

Or… is it,… fantasizing with the creative mind only disproportions the knot?

What does a quarrel between the minds accomplish?

Only… in the right conditions, can the two come to peace.

 

Speaking of which, the time is growing late.

I’ll have to continue this rant later.. =/

So, I am a strong advocate of the ‘power of will’, since it defines the prominence of psychic abilities, affirmations, and deciding what energies belong in your person and what does not. Along with the power on ones affirmative will, I also am one to believe that, on the other side of things, no one person deserves to be ‘cursed’ by anybody, for any reason, under any excuse or circumstance.

And want to mention, out of context, that a young individual finding identity in a magic-based religion is admirable and understandable, but (say for example,… Wicca holds that to harm anyone will apply three fold against themselves) if such a young individual finds a pre-emptive or premature excuse to send one of these negative spiritual volleys in the direction of… oh… lets just say… my brother … then I find myself tied between repulsive anger, and petty amusement.

It seems to be that people who equip such methods are those with little disregard to the resulting negative energy that is bound to boomerang back to them. … and a petty disregard for humanity in general, outside of their own little power-hungry world.

The reason I am bringing this topic up is because I happen to have such a brother, misunderstood, and ultimately not intending to insult (I sense he is a star child as well) who seemingly got “cursed” by a “witch” over a petty and trivial conversation, and a petty and trivial comment. … The details behind the curse? Well, it was one of those “I’m not going to tell you what it is” deals. One of those ‘its irreversible’ deals. …

The night he told me about the incident, I was only initially shocked,… but then I recalled my understanding of metaphysics, and I decided that that would be the night that I finally speak to him about what I believed spiritually,… and that the matters of such a ‘curse’ is a matter of ‘power of will’; that half of its potency is having the individual believe it is real. … but if he insists upon disbelieving the potency of the curse, and keeps progressing positive vibes into the world, then there is nothing much to worry.

Yet, I feel I shared this idea with him simply to get him to stop worrying about it and remain positive.
… I am unsure what the correct thinking on this subject is.

…

On a side note, I have a friend (who is actually the girlfriend of a roommate) who I discovered possesses a voodoo doll of me, and a few others. If I recall correctly, there is no good that can be done with one of those things, and while I am under no negative relationship with her, it begs to wonder… why the hell does a voodoo doll of me even EXIST? …

(I am unfortunately in one of those situations where, despite my absolute respect for witchcraft and Wiccans and things of an equal spiritual bracket,… I’m torn into thinking such unfortunate thoughts as “What the hell is up with all of these crazy teenage women!!? Certainly true Wiccans are not as reckless as this! Who really thinks a hex is going to solve anything!?”)

…

Hense… I really wished to begin a conversation on the subject. Surely, neither I, nor my brother are the only ones who have been in this hot seat before. What are your opinions, experiences, and priorities on the subject?