Hello.

I see you are in a perplexing situation.

If not on the surface, then deep down within you.

I just wanted to take the time to share a few things with you.

 

You are at the center of all reality.

You manifest everything you experience.

Manifestation is a talent of the mind.

… but manifesting reality is not an “armchair general’s” job.

Since ALL of reality is a projection of the mind,

you have to project your desires into reality BY stepping in and taking action.

Do not allow yourself to be the victim of reality,

for in the end, you are really being the victim of yourself.

Start breaking the rules you’ve set for yourself

Break new ground and observe new territory

Take the action that is needed to project those desires into motion.

Remember to remove yourself from the addiction of looking at your world negatively.

Emotions are chemical complexes of the mind.

They are neither good, nor bad,

but rather, they are reinforcements to your decisions.

Fuel to the spark of free will.

 

As for your current predicament:

Please know that life has its good and bad.

People have been in situations like yours

or even worse than yours,

and survived with their head intact.

There is no invisible force judging you.

No hidden judicator bearing down on your manner of choosing.

Remove yourself from the cesspool of negative energy.

and approach things with a cool head.

Calculate your success,

but don’t forget to take action nevertheless.

 

That mess of stimuli that repeats itself day in and day out,

does not have to be your reality if you do not want it to be.

 

You are the navigator,

now grab the wheel and steer your vessel.

Today, my growing crusade was finally humbled.

… Not satisfied. …. Humbled.

 

I’ve been raving to myself on discovering more like-minded spiritual/starseeds. It has been a cavern of confusion being without some physical kinship in this regard.

   It is at the base of why people of any certain religion would congregate in a temple; it is the connection between people. … It is community.

      I’ve found myself second guessing everything these past months, and I’ve blamed it on my lack of “hivemind”,… so to speak.

 

I managed to encounter an old friend. His name is John, and he is THE person who was behind my awakening.

Unfortunately, I’ve been far out of touch with him, despite how cool we were with each other. I’m not sure why I separated myself from him. It seemed that he was waking up so fast, and developing so quickly, that somehow, I was envious and somewhat paranoid of him. …. These emotions were unfounded, but I anticipated his abilities and consciousness has grown substantially since I’ve last seen him.

I caught him in a music instruments store, while a different friend and I were looking at equipment. He had changed so much; he had lost tons of weight, was wearing a different hair style; I could barely make out that it was him. He even saw me there, very briefly, but said nothing. I was half convinced it was him, even as he left, as I was bewildered. … I ended up texting him:

“Hey! I think I saw your doppleganger just now at (music store name)”

He confirmed moments later that it was him.

I replied, managing to point out that I was right there, and he say anything, … and that he must have lost tons of weight.

He strangely replied saying that he didn’t even notice me, and I went on to ask how he has been. … No reply.

Oddly enough, I can remember him almost hiding behind equipment, hoping I wouldn’t see him. Not only that, I remembered he didn’t decide to leave until right after he saw me.

… and it was then I came to an odd, but disheartening conclusion… that the person who put me into right mind at a time when I was lost on petty religious nonsense, didn’t want anything to do with me.

 

I can’t imagine why, but in these weird times, I’m starting to see weird things… dissonant reactions between starseeds.

And so, I felt the cloud of humility wash over me. …

 

…

Perhaps I am on my own.

 

Perhaps now, even if I were to find like-mind, I could never relate, because I have been conditioned to understand that such things are miraculously impossible, because such things simply wont manifest no matter how much I pour mental energy into it.

At the same time, I have come to notice how rampantly emotional I’ve been about this subject, and perhaps looking too far into this situation is too distorting. To accept the things the way they are is to be humbled. I am disheartened in a way, because I feel I am somehow giving up a battle, but at the same time, my mind is much clearer.

Maybe I should take a step back and simplify my head.

 

 

 

 

Originally presented by GroundedGifts, member of IndigoSociety.com

…

Guardian Angels, Most Benevolent Outcomes and a smoother, more effortless life

An easy way to ask for things and develop a close bond with our Angels and/or guides

Hi everyone Hope this finds you well.

This is just one method to use, to get to know your guides and ask for their assistance. I’m not an expert. There are no doubt many people here on IS who can show us other methods. (Some people say that the simplest method is, “Just talk to them!”)
If you don’t want to read this whole post, you can scroll down the headings and pick out the sections that appeal to you.

Tom T Moore and The Gentle Way

In 2009 I discovered Tom T. Moore’s website http://www.thegentlewaybook.com/index.htm

– You can read and subscribe to Tom’s free weekly blog at http://www.gentlewaybook.com/blog/?feed=rss2
The blog contains stories sent in from people all over the world, describing their success with their Most Benevolent Outcome requests and Benevolent Prayers. Tom invites us all to email him our success stories, for inclusion in the blog.

– You can also read and subscribe to Tom’s free weekly newsletter at http://www.thegentlewaybook.com/articles.htm

– The newsletter contains answers to questions sent in by readers. Most of the answers are provided to Tom by his guides, during meditation. A wide range of subjects is covered, including Atlantis, aliens, the planets, future earthquakes and weather events and more.

– Some people prefer either the blog or the newsletter. Others subscribe to both.

Tom has written a couple of books. If my memory serves me correctly, there are sample chapters to read, and information about where to buy the books, on his website.
______________________________________

Asking for things – while simultaneously developing a relationship with your Guardian Angel/guides, and raising your vibrations

MBOs and BPs

Tom calls his ideas The Gentle Way. He calls some of his guides “Guardian Angels”. He says he has been talking with his Guardian Angel, Theo, since the 90s.
Tom has discovered a simple and effective way to ask for things by saying aloud the following:

Most Benevolent Outcome (MBO)

An MBO request is a request for the best possible outcome or result for yourself. You simply say aloud with joy and expectation:

“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for [whatever it is that you want or need], thank you!”

Examples

“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for me to get to know my Guardian Angel, to clearly receive my Angel’s guidance, and for us to become very close, thank you!”
“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for my awareness to raise, and for my vibrations to raise, thank you!”
“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for me to find myself upon the highest path of growth and renewal, and the highest path of healing, thank you!”
“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for me to feel the soft embrace of my Guardian Angel in every moment, every event, every action, and in every thought and word of this day, thank you!”

Benevolent Prayer (BP)

A Benevolent Prayer is a request for the best possible outcome or result for anyone other than yourself.
You simply say aloud with joy and expectation:

“I ask any and all Beings to [whatever it is that you want or need for other/s], thank you!”

What does a Benevolent Prayer do?
A Benevolent Prayer calls on all living Beings, whoever/whatever they are, who are Benevolent and who want to help, to come in and help the situation you’re asking about. It can result in a person/animal in need suddenly getting some unexpected help, or things just going a bit more smoothly for them.

Examples

(Please take a minute to say these aloud, if you want. If you don’t like the wording, you can change them a bit before you say them, to make them sound more like something you would say.)

“I ask any and all Beings to raise the vibrations of all who participate here at Indigo Society, thank you!”
“I ask any and all Beings to bring much healing, strength, groundedness and beauty to all who read this, thank you!”
“I ask any and all Beings to bring immediate assistance, strength and comfort to all Beings who are in need at this time, thank you!”
“I ask any and all Beings to assist [name of person or animal, or group of persons or animals, or plants etc. in need], thank you!”

Reasons to create and say a Benevolent Prayer
Lots of people create a Benevolent Prayer and say it aloud for family members, friends or animals who are in need; for the environment, for the government, for peace in conflict zones, for humanity’s consciousness-raising.
Tom says his GA Theo has said: the more people who say aloud a Benevolent Prayer, the more power that prayer will have. Therefore, if you know of somebody in need, you could distribute a Benevolent Prayer to family and friends, and ask them to say it aloud with joy.
There is no limit to the things we can ask for others. We can use our imagination to create Benevolent Prayers that call upon the highest guides to come and do good things. Every good thing done here on Earth reverberates around the Universe

Co-creation
When we (who are in physical form at this time) call for good things from the highest guides/Source/Creator/God (who are in spirit form), this is “co-creation”. It is: high spirituality + matter = the joint creation of something new and good for all.
It is: joining together to move energy in a way that benefits ourselves and others. It is the Law of Attraction in motion.

The Circle Of Love
I like to think of The Circle Of Love: you co-create good things, which causes good energy to go throughout the Universe and all the way back to you! The energy travels full circle
______________________________________

Apparently the requests and prayers are more effective if spoken aloud (or whispered) but for those who may have trouble speaking, it is suggested you write them down.
______________________________________

Two additional things we can say aloud

1. After requesting an MBO or saying aloud a BP, we then can also say:

“And may the results be even better than I could hope for or expect, thank you!”

Or, a slight variation:

“And may the results be even better than I could ever anticipate or hope for, thank you!”

Tom says that that gives our Guardian Angel (GA) permission to do extra things that are above and beyond the request we made, to make the outcome even better.

2. We can then add:

“I EXPECT GREAT THINGS, thank you!”

Tom says he gets better results when he says the “Expect Great
Things” statement as well.

_____________________________________

A few points

**Don’t be put off by the word ‘prayer’. These requests, the Most Benevolent Outcome and Benevolent Prayer, are, put simply, easy-to-do energy-creations. They are one of the many ways to manifest things; similar to the Law Of Attraction.

– Our GAs want to assist us, all the time, but apparently they can only step in and do things for us if we ask. So, we should ask them, and keep asking, for everything we want and need.

– We can talk to our GAs about anything; we can get to know them, we can ask them for signs and confirmations that they’ve heard us, and we can learn to recognise the unique, good energy that comes from them.

– Tom says the requests need to be voiced with joy and expectation. We need to believe that we are going to get a great outcome. If you are feeling down, request a MBO to feel better, and hopefully you then can say your other MBO requests with a joyful heart, believing that they are your reality waiting to happen.

– Saying aloud these requests and prayers raises our vibrations. I find that the more I use them in my life, the better I feel. Saying them increases my feeling of safety, connectedness and comfort. Helpful or fun things happen unexpectedly (not every five minutes, but on a fairly regular basis).

– The more often I ask for something, and then trust my Angel, the more smoothly things flow. I’m learning that I need to ask, and then “get out of the way” and let my Angel make it happen. I get assistance with almost everything I request. I’m still waiting for some of the bigger things though. All good things come to those who wait

– There is a lot more info about all of this on Tom’s website. If this subject interests you, I suggest you read Tom’s blog and newsletters, and look through his archives, to see how other people are using this info in their lives. There are some great articles and ordinary people’s stories there.

______________________________________

Getting started with MBO requests and BPs

Tom suggests we start with small requests, such as:

– During, or at the end of each day, request an MBO for a good night’s sleep, and request a Most Benevolent Outcome for the following day. Request an MBO for specific things that are coming up the next day.

– At the start of each new day, request an MBO for the day. Be specific, if you want.

Examples

“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for today, and may the results be even more than I could hope for or expect, thank you!”
“I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for a happy and productive day, for all my work to be timely and effortless, for all my human interactions to be positive and for me to come to the end of today feeling very happy and satisfied, thank you!”

– Request an MBO before you get into the car, for safe driving

– To arrive on time

– For a good parking space

– To be served quickly, when waiting in a queue

– For a specific sum of money to pay a specific bill

– For help with study and exams

______________________________________

Tom says MBOs that are requested in advance (before you leave the house, or the day before, or several days before, or even longer) are often more effective.
He also says to request an MBO to get yourself out of any frustrating/difficult/annoying/unpleasant situation in which you find yourself.
He says requesting small things helps to establish the habit of asking and receiving, and can give instant results. When requesting bigger things (perfect job, soulmate, house etc.), results can take longer, while our GA puts everything in place.

Tom also talks about soul contracts, the agreements we made before we came here for this life. If we request things that are not in our soul contract (for example, a lottery win of millions of dollars does not seem to be in my soul contract, alas) we will not receive them We can, however, request smaller versions of the same thing. All is not lost!

______________________________________

Three extra things to help us start each day feeling happy and well-prepared

Tom suggests we start each day by saying aloud a few MBO requests for that day, as described above.

– He also suggests we say aloud:

***The following three things can be printed from Tom’s website, from the section titled “signs”
http://www.thegentlewaybook.com/signs.htm
It’s worth printing them, they’re really nice signs/small posters. They can act as daily reminders of the words.

1. The Daily Affirmation

“I am a piece of creation. I have created my current reality, and will create all of what I experience in the future.
Therefore all that is before is my doing.

Today I choose to raise my awareness. Today I choose to slow down the ageing clock in my cells, and create divinity in
my daily workings. Today I instruct my cellular structure to vibrate to my intent and directions.

I create a peaceful balance in all things, everywhere I
walk. I create for myself great health, prosperity, abundance, and Benevolent Outcomes.
And so it is.” ~ Tom T. Moore

2. The Benevolent Prayer (Tom has also called this The Living Prayer)

This prayer wipes off karma that needs to go, it restores goodness anywhere we have done harm (we are all human, none of us is perfect ) and it releases some of our unhelpful karmic ties. There’s a better explanation of it on Tom’s website.

“I ask any and all Beings to assist & comfort anyone that I have ever harmed either physically, mentally, morally, spiritually or emotionally in any past, present or future life.
And I ask any and all beings to assist and comfort the families and friends of anyone I have ever harmed, in any way, in any past, present or future life. Thank you.” ~ Tom T. Moore

3. The EXPECT GREAT THINGS statement to bring in lots of extra good things for which we might have forgotten to ask.

“I expect GREAT THINGS TODAY, GREAT THINGS TOMORROW, AND GREAT THINGS ALL THIS WEEK, thank you!”

______________________________________

If you read or subscribe to Tom’s blog, you will find lots of examples of other people’s successful MBO requests.

Tom’s website also has lots of information about Angels, who they are and how they help us, and all sorts of other topics. You don’t have to agree with every bit of the info, but it’s definitely an interesting read.
______________________________________

One last thing

If you feel like it, please join with me now in saying aloud a short Benevolent Prayer (it’s good practice )

“I ask any and all Beings to assist in raising the Consciousness of all here on Earth, so that our planet becomes a place of genuine kindness, compassion, grace and Light, thank you!”

I send healing and peace to you and to all of your loved ones. Good Luck discovering just how amazing your Guardian Angel is and just how much he/she loves you

Hello all.

Much love to everyone on Xanga!

…

I figured that it might be interesting to give a small list of web-sites that I have participated in the past, and figure I should share such locations openly. Perhaps one or more of you might find interest in one of these places:

 

www.IndigoSociety.com

This is a forum-based website centered around Indigo/Crystal/etc …. Starseeds! In other words, anyone who resonates with being a spirit not of Earthly origin, present upon the Earth to assist in the Earths spiritual evolution (and extremely rough definition, I apologize). There is also plenty of discussion about religions, spiritual experiences, psychic development, extra-terrestrials, secret societies, and plenty of other criteria.

www.SpiritualForums.com

Another forum-based website that is a tad more ambiguous than the last I mentioned, and resonates more-so with general spirituality and psychic development. A number of people from a number of backgrounds and ideologies exist here, and engage in plenty of deep discussion. A bit on the fluffier side.

www.Dreamviews.com

Another forum-based website, centered around the art of ‘lucid dreaming’, the ability to travel and manipulate your dreams as if you were awake. There is also deeper discussion, such as the concept of shared dreaming, practices to increase dream recall, group dreaming projects, and even a section for ‘Beyond Dreaming’. … However, there is a population of trolls who exist here; skeptics who linger here to object directly to any spiritual resemblance. But once you get past that, the place is quite interesting!

 

…

 

There you go!

Hope there is something in this list you may find useful.
… and for fun, I’d also appreciate if you have your own input on promising websites and networks to investigate.
If you do, please list them in the comments section. … Thank you! =)

This week has made me strung out.

It has mostly been bound together by fear of falling short on money. Its funny how easily I worry at times, but sometimes it takes a moment of awakening to realize how pointless the week was. … I had a moment of action a week ago, as I set out to seek more gigs for web-design and music projects, but of course, I have it somewhere in my complex that the world is too cruel and callous to benefit me for my efforts. Reward for what I’ve accomplished has been something I’ve lost sight of in past years, but I figure, why the hell not. …

This week has been the first in a long time that I’ve silenced myself, and outright asked my guidance to assist me.

Guidance has answered me twice!

Once in removing fears and replacing them with confidence.

Second in facilitating a recovery from stress, by use of a common event we all enjoy,… payday (also surprising me with $100 more than i thought I was getting), and spending that money on consumables, thus easing the tension of my well being. On top of that, I’ve successfully acquired the ability to gain a few more hours at my job, and hopefully another web design gig provided through a friend of mine.

WHEW….!

… So the power of asking for guidance has not gone without remedy! Good job, me! ^_^

And special thanks to Sundance, Jezebel, Alexis, and Brendan (names of my guides, as I am consciously aware)

…

Perhaps my greatest realization during this bout of mental strain was in the form of an exhausting and equally stressful dream; something that has occurred to me as being true for the longest time, and has existed at the very core of my thought process since birth…. I have an unnatural fear of living a normal life. … A life that is considered non-adventurous, non-productive, and non-unique. This is a deeply injected protocol that is often put at odds with my fear of other things (such as fear of making a ‘wrong decision’). … It is the reason my imaginative abilities are what they’ve become; why my life is centered in art and music; why much of my music is turbulent, often suspenseful and scheming… in a cinematic way, why I refuse to get a job at a desk or working for an industry I don’t believe in, why I love traveling, meeting new people, discovering unique relationships, making others laugh, enjoying new and memorable experiences, engage in alternative philosophy that has created my spiritual/psychological identity to this day, etc.

And I supposed many people have this protocol. Some don’t seem to,… forseeably. Yet, a good number do. … Perhaps my mind is more insistent on it. Instead of living for the weekend and ‘getting by’ on the weekdays, I’d rather have a career, and a life that is engaging, challenging, but inspiring. Something that is ultimately meaningful to my development and the aesthetic pleasure or well-being of other people.

That self-inflicted panderfaust put aside…

A good portion of that has a spiritual twist to it, mostly about establishing unique relationships with others, on a spiritual level. I see it as one of my better motivations. … However, I’m at the dolrums, it seems. Perhaps tomorrow, if I have time, I’ll chill around the local Magus Books and Herbs store. … 98 times out of 100, there is nobody there open or interesting enough to chat with, but like I am wont to do, I go there anyways. … Until I come up with a better idea, that is.

Meh.

Why is my psyche function in the form of intricate plot devices?

… The high standards of a compelling storyline cause me to discourage my utterly commonwealth of a life.

Not that my life is all that bad. … My mind simply functions this way.

It is how it is programmed;

Brainwashed; from story to story; protagonist to antagonist; beginning to end.

 

And neither can I satisfy it.

My mind is too busy with idle distraction, sedation, and petty recreation.

Where is the total immersion I seek? The driving motivation? The unstoppable passion?

Its buried under layers of fears, contempt, and lower-mind.

Its a raging beast locked within a steel cage.

Tormented.

 

 

… Then again, even my scattered mind knows that I’ve done posts and blog entries like these, over and over, each time I feel mentally cornered ,… emotionally and spiritually unquenched. We see how they begin, but I know how it ends. …

Empty corridors. Unspoken comments. An audience of ghostly visitors. … and hell … why not have them be blind and deaf ghostly visitors?

… with funny yellow hats!

 

 

The nights I’ve spent, sitting in my silence, gazing into myself,… looking into the self for answers to the endless riddle. Like a knot, pulled to its tightest, me trying to loosen the bind enough to deknot. Yet, I’d be egoic and arrogant if I were to think I was the only person found in this state. Everyone comes to some conclusion on what lies beyond the knot, … and its all just enough to help them sleep at night. Some also find content in insisting the knot is the only truth.

In the end, reasoning with the logical mind only pulls the hairs of the rope; tearing at it.

Or… is it,… fantasizing with the creative mind only disproportions the knot?

What does a quarrel between the minds accomplish?

Only… in the right conditions, can the two come to peace.

 

Speaking of which, the time is growing late.

I’ll have to continue this rant later.. =/

So, I am a strong advocate of the ‘power of will’, since it defines the prominence of psychic abilities, affirmations, and deciding what energies belong in your person and what does not. Along with the power on ones affirmative will, I also am one to believe that, on the other side of things, no one person deserves to be ‘cursed’ by anybody, for any reason, under any excuse or circumstance.

And want to mention, out of context, that a young individual finding identity in a magic-based religion is admirable and understandable, but (say for example,… Wicca holds that to harm anyone will apply three fold against themselves) if such a young individual finds a pre-emptive or premature excuse to send one of these negative spiritual volleys in the direction of… oh… lets just say… my brother … then I find myself tied between repulsive anger, and petty amusement.

It seems to be that people who equip such methods are those with little disregard to the resulting negative energy that is bound to boomerang back to them. … and a petty disregard for humanity in general, outside of their own little power-hungry world.

The reason I am bringing this topic up is because I happen to have such a brother, misunderstood, and ultimately not intending to insult (I sense he is a star child as well) who seemingly got “cursed” by a “witch” over a petty and trivial conversation, and a petty and trivial comment. … The details behind the curse? Well, it was one of those “I’m not going to tell you what it is” deals. One of those ‘its irreversible’ deals. …

The night he told me about the incident, I was only initially shocked,… but then I recalled my understanding of metaphysics, and I decided that that would be the night that I finally speak to him about what I believed spiritually,… and that the matters of such a ‘curse’ is a matter of ‘power of will’; that half of its potency is having the individual believe it is real. … but if he insists upon disbelieving the potency of the curse, and keeps progressing positive vibes into the world, then there is nothing much to worry.

Yet, I feel I shared this idea with him simply to get him to stop worrying about it and remain positive.
… I am unsure what the correct thinking on this subject is.

…

On a side note, I have a friend (who is actually the girlfriend of a roommate) who I discovered possesses a voodoo doll of me, and a few others. If I recall correctly, there is no good that can be done with one of those things, and while I am under no negative relationship with her, it begs to wonder… why the hell does a voodoo doll of me even EXIST? …

(I am unfortunately in one of those situations where, despite my absolute respect for witchcraft and Wiccans and things of an equal spiritual bracket,… I’m torn into thinking such unfortunate thoughts as “What the hell is up with all of these crazy teenage women!!? Certainly true Wiccans are not as reckless as this! Who really thinks a hex is going to solve anything!?”)

…

Hense… I really wished to begin a conversation on the subject. Surely, neither I, nor my brother are the only ones who have been in this hot seat before. What are your opinions, experiences, and priorities on the subject?

Greetings, my Xangan friends!

Have you missed me? …

 

I’m hoping to bring about an old shell of mine back to life.

If you managed to read my prior post in regards to the current state of #Xanga and my participation, you might be surprised to see me back here (or not).

It seems that, due to my current #quarter-life #crisis, my surviving through this era of recession, and my own personal recession in both #spiritual and matters of #self-purpose, I hope to return here for a bit just so I can say I have a place to spill my thoughts, no matter how #complex or how #simplistic. Its perhaps the thing I missed the most; expressing my thoughts openly in a blog atmosphere has helped plenty in helping me organize my own thoughts, establish a sense of #self, #wisdom, and #consciousness, and come across intriguing individuals like yourselves!

My life has been a cluster of failings and confusion. Good news first; I have officially #graduated from Augsburg College, with BA’s in Business Administration and Music (Music Business). What I plan on doing with it? I haven’t the fondest clue. … I could say that I DID have a plan; a set of possibilities to follow, but I set those aside to deal with current matters. Student loans are not the funnest thing in the world, but I’m thankful that I’m not paying in as bad as most students I know.

I am also happy to be employed, while not significantly. I work at Best Buy, the store right next to Best Buy corporate in Richfield. Selling computers is actually plenty fun! I am quite a bit critical of myself, however, as I hope not to find myself simply apart of the ‘seasonal employees’. I’d like to stay employed year round. I am learning a ton right now, although not exactly making a ton. Paycheck to #paycheck is a stressful way to live. … On the side, I’ve been doing web design, and hope to expand that into a more profitable venture.

Aside from the good, this point of my life is extremely disorganized and confused. My social life has been dipping into depression. My mind-consciousness has been cluttered, and ultimately sedated, and I feel the energy within me revolting, screaming out. While I know I should be doing whatever I can to enhance my spiritual knowledge and general wisdom, it has been the thing on my mind the least lately.

I’m hoping my Xanga will help a bit in pulling me out of the muck. I need to a literary mirror; a medium to project my own thoughts to myself.

Along with whoever is hoping to come along for the ride.

My path is laid in missed connections, missed cues, and discombobulation.

It’ll be nice to be back here for a while.

…

May the Creator shed light upon you,

and may you have guidance, to pull you through your own trials.

…

Funny how I don’t say that type of thing often enough.

A well-deserved revisitation of my blog…

We never notice, during our ventures with the Internet, and the history of all of our social encounters and activities,… that everything we do piles on top of each other, and creates quite the bloody e-mess!

My accounts for instant messaging is an example. For the past seven years and beyond, all of my contacts,… all of the people I connected with at this time or another, is listed in the Contacts of my ancient IM accounts. MSN… AIM… Yahoo IM…

None of these people seem to exist anymore, and while keeping their names on this list is a reminder of who they once were,… I feel it has become quite obsolete.

And thus it began…

…

Tonight, I’m going to entertain the notion of ‘Erasing the past’.

Go through each and every account,… IM, Email, and other piles of garbage,… and blanket them with oblivion.

Each and every social encounter,… from roleplaying friends, to temporary spiritual companions, to random friends gathered from forums and chatrooms,… from angsty teens, to music enthusiasts, to armchair philosophers such as you and I,…

They are all going to meet oblivion tonight!

…

And thus,… all of a sudden, I am brought here,… to perhaps the most ancient, yet well said, well-descriptive, and most sentimental relic symbolizing myself. … An 8 year advocate and active participant in the Xanga community. … It has all laid abandoned, but there are deep seeded pieces to the puzzle that I can’t erase. I also cannot let others erase it either.

I’ve tried to reinvoke pieces of this ancient self, with no avail. It would almost seem necessary to delete this part of me, but I wonder if that measure is necessary. From the deeply confused, angsty, and quite eccentric teenager,… till today; that just doesn’t seem like it needs erasing.

MAN! … I wish I could share this wiping of my past with someone. It would make the meaning of it so much more… shared. Maybe there is a hidden wisdom in it that others can take with them. … but hell,… if there is one thing I have gathered from the accumulation of all of these shells of other people, is that their stay is impermanent,… and in the end, I am only left with the shells. A vast, lonely room with empty human shells. … and in a way, that goes as far to describe this blog. It describes Xanga itself! Just a necropolis of empty carcasses.

Every meaningful step toward knowing thyself is emptied, and pointless to look back upon.

…

 

I might have to erase this blog as well.

but… time will judge that better than I.

… and find that the younger me (this blog) has been quite abandoned for some time.

But then again, hasn’t Xanga as a whole?
I bet you I’ll be lucky if I go through my wild and crazy blogrings and find one person who is new.

… or one old timer who came back for a quick post (that oddly looks a lot like mine.)

 

…

 

 

So! How are all of you loyalists doing these days?

How’s the neighborhood? Its been so long since I’ve been here.

I can see there are still plenty of abandoned houses, but what about yours?

Do people still come to visit? Are you still making improvements?

Are you digging deep into rantastic, transcendent thought patterns forged from the fires of serotonin and caffeene, and maybe just a dash of di-methyl-tryptamine secreting from the recesses of your pineal? How are the poetic whims of your intrigued and utterly sensitive grasp on the interpersonal reality? Are my arrogant, pretentious ways sullying your skivvies, or moistening them deeply from the overwhelmingly linguistic, and almost ‘carpel tunnel’ grade stimuli that I recite unto you?

… So … like…

whats up, homedizzle?